There are times in our lives when we simply want to give up and quit.

In those moments, we feel as if God, or life, or the universe has stacked the deck against us, that everything is going wrong, or just that we’ve taken such a hit to the life that we once had that we just want to take our ball and go home. It happens when our lives make major, often unexpected, and unpleasant, changes. Whenever we experience job loss, relationship breakups, divorce, the death of a loved one or spouse, or even watching your church grow older and shrink in membership.

In those times, we often feel crushed and powerless, and it is common for us to retreat into our safe spaces and hide out. We make a cup of tea, sit on the couch, pull a warm blanket over us, and hide from the world. But as comfortable as it might feel in the moment, that is often quite the opposite of what we ought to be doing. When we are in pain and suffering from loss, one of the keys to healing, moving forward, accomplishing our goals, and rediscovering joy, is not to retreat from the world (although we may very well need some time to do that) but to reconnect with out friends, our family, and get back into the world.

As human beings, as well as members of the family of Jesus Christ, we are social creatures at our core. We long for human connection. While they may often limit their interactions with others, even those who tend to be bookish introverts will feel isolated if they stay away from everyone for too long. We might not want to be in a crowd, or even in any kind of large group, but we still long for friendship, connection, and community. But more than that, it is when we share our burdens with others that we feel our burdens get lighter. Carrying on, moving forward, or even just standing up after life has dumped tough times on us can seem impossible. But when we open our hearts and share our souls, and our burdens, with others, we are encouraged and find the strength to move onward together.

Just as it does with a block of ice, insulating ourselves from the world only makes the chill last longer. The way to melt the chill, find joy again, and start growing again is to open ourselves to the world again, to seek out new opportunities, do new things, and reconnect with our friends and community. I’ve seen these things happen in the lives of both people and churches. While it might be comforting at first, retreating for too long and insulating ourselves from the world only prolongs our suffering. The path to growth and rediscovering joy will not be found under a warm blanket on the sofa surrounded by comfort food. The path to joy and growth can only be found in community.

As members of the family of Jesus Christ, the key is that we already have the greatest family ever.

We just need to get out of our safe spaces, get off our sofas, and invite others to join the family that we already found.