2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33 John 6:35, 41-51 Ephesians 4:25-5:2
What do you do when someone that you love abandons you, turns their back on you, betrays you, usurps your authority, turns your friends against you, spreads lies about you, steals from you, drives you from your home, causes you to flee your city with your remaining loyal friends, and tries to kill you? And what do you do when the person that did that is your beloved son? That was the story of King David. Absalom wanted to be Israel’s next king and he was angry that David did not consider him above his brothers. But Absalom had been patient and had spent years at the gates of the city, spreading lies about David, undermining David’s authority, and in every way possible convincing David’s military leaders and the people of Israel that David was unfit to be their king and that they should rise up, overthrow David, and make Absalom king by force. And on the day that he selected, armies of men from all over Israel came to fight by his side and it caused an unprepared David to flee Jerusalem with his family and those troops and leaders who were loyal to him. Absalom takes over Jerusalem, moves into the palace, sets up a tent on the roof, in plain view of everyone, and fulfills Nathan’s warning that we heard last week, by sleeping with the concubines that David had left behind to care for the palace.
Most men would be so insulted, hurt, defensive, bitter, and angry that they would want to end the person that had done that to them.
But not David.
In 2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33 we read this:
5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.
6 David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. 7 There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and the casualties that day were great—twenty thousand men. 8 The battle spread out over the whole countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men that day than the sword.
9 Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.
15 And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.
31 Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.”
32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”
The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.”
33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Absalom had done to David everything that one human being can do to hurt another. This is especially true of those things that children can do to hurt a parent and included doing damage to your nation by starting a civil war just to further your own personal selfish ambitions. But, no matter what happened to him, or what was done to him, how he was publicly humiliated, David still gave orders to be gentle with Absalom when he was captured, and was utterly broken when he was told that Absalom had been killed. Whether you think that David was foolish, or weak, or unwise, or naïve in his attempt to save the son who had done so much to hurt him, it stands out in the history of human beings as an example of the soft-hearted and irrepressible love that a parent has for their child. As much as David needed Absalom the traitor to stop what he was doing, David never stopped loving Absalom, his son, and never stopped wanting him to be safe.
And then we hear the other side of the story that we read last week. Last Sunday we heard Jesus say, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” But this week we hear what the people thought when they heard him, as well as how they responded to Jesus’ message. In John 6:35, 41-51, we hear this:
35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”
43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God. ’Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
Jesus declares that he will do even greater miracles than Moses, or specifically, that God will do greater miracles through him than God did through Moses, and the reaction of the people in Capernaum that knew him and knew his family, was complete disbelief. I have seen something like this in some of the rural towns in which we have lived. The assumption is that no one that I know can really do any better than what I have seen. We have known highly intelligent, and highly capable young people who, although they were capable of doing more, had no higher aspiration than to work in the coal mines, or in construction, or assisting a veterinarian, like everyone that they knew, despite being capable of attending college and becoming an architect, an engineer, or a veterinarian themselves. In that same way, it was impossible for the people in Jesus’ village to believe that anyone that they knew could do any better than they had done.
But that doesn’t stop Jesus from loving them and he preaches to them that everyone who believes will have eternal life, and that he will give his body over to death in exchange for the life of the world. Much like David, even though the people that Jesus had known from childhood had turned their backs on him, he never stopped loving them.
The negative example of how not to love are obvious. The example of Absalom teaches that we shouldn’t betray the people we love just to further our selfish ambitions. We may not be princes, but neither should we wish that our parents would die so that we can receive our inheritance sooner, or fear that they might spend their money before we inherit it. The example of the people of Capernaum is a little more difficult but may hit closer to home for some of us. That example teaches that we should not doubt or discredit the aspirations or accomplishments of the people around us, just because they are doing better than we are. It might be envy, but it might also be like the people I described earlier, that were so accustomed to the world that they knew, that they simply couldn’t imagine anyone that they knew doing any better than they did, nor could they aspire to anything more than what they knew. Rather than despise or discredit our friends who try to do better, true love teaches us to be sources of encouragement. Rather than grumble and heckle them for doing better than we did, we should be their cheerleaders and rejoice with them in their accomplishments.
But Paul has some other advice in regard to how we should love, and we find that in Ephesians 4:25 – 5:2 where he says:
4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Paul’s instruction for the people of the church is to stop lying, but the way that he says that, is to “put off falsehood” and, although the difference is subtle, I think that it is important. Paul says, “we are all members of one body,” which is a nice way of saying that, because we claim to belong to the church, we all represent Jesus Christ, and our individual actions reflect on all of us, and Jesus, collectively. And so, rather than just hearing Paul say that we should stop lying, we should also hear that we should stop spreading gossip, rumors, half-truths and, in the twenty-first century, that probably includes internet memes that contain a seed of truth mixed with half-truths, innuendo, and outright fiction.
And, if you doubt my interpretation, or think that maybe I’m reading too much into that, look at what Paul says next. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” That not only means that the followers of Jesus should clean up their potty mouths, but also that we must only speak words that affirm, encourage, build up, and benefit the people to whom we are talking and sharing, and yes, that includes our interactions on the internet.
Paul says that we grieve God when we harbor bitterness, rage, and anger, when we fight and spread untruths about others, or express any sort of malice toward others. Instead, be kind, be compassionate, be forgiving because that is what Jesus Christ did for you. Let’s be clear, this isn’t easy. It’s going to be hard to live our lives this way. But when Jesus calls us to love, Paul wants us to know that walking in the way of love means to love others, including our neighbors, the people on the internet, and including the people that we don’t like, people that don’t like us, and the people that don’t treat us nicely.
David loved even when Absalom stole everything from him and tried to kill him.
Jesus loved even when his friends and neighbors doubted him, turned their backs on him, and abandoned him. Even when his nation hated him, and crucified him, he loved them enough to give his life to save them, and all the rest of us.
The message is clear. Genuine love is not transactional. If you only love the people who love you back, or the people who do something for you, that isn’t real love. Walking in the way of love means loving others, including our neighbors, the people on the internet, people that we don’t like, that don’t like us, and that don’t treat us nicely. And it also means speaking only words that affirm, encourage, build up, and benefit the people to whom we are talking and sharing.
And, unfortunately, if that is the definition of love that we’re supposed to use, and it is, a lot of us doing it wrong.
Let us pray that God would empower us to do better.
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