Eulogy and Obituary for Linda Montgomery

Eulogy for Linda Montgomery

June 22, 2020

by Pastor John Partridge

This is hard.

Being here is hard.  Watching this family suffer… is hard.  Losing a friend… is hard.  Not being able to have the celebration of life that Linda deserves, is hard.  All of this is hard.

Everyone that has ever met Linda Montgomery has a story that they remember, and they all want to tell about it.  We have already heard several of those stories.  And, most importantly, as I sat down with Linda’s family this week, they shared their stories with me for almost two hours.  It wasn’t boring or even difficult, but much like it has always been whenever anyone has ever talked about Linda, the stories about her, the love that they had for her, and the joy that she brought into their lives, just flowed out of them.  Everyone who met Linda, felt loved by her because she cared about everyone around her whether they were an old friend or a total stranger.  And in Linda’s world, strangers became friends almost immediately.

The difficulty that I have, is that between the stories that I heard, and those that have been emailed to me, I could stand up here and share with you for hours, and if we opened this microphone and offered you the opportunity to share, we could double that again.  But the reasons that everyone has great stories that they want to share, is because Linda cared about them.  She genuinely cared about everyone around her, she loved them, and more often than not, she put their needs ahead of her own.

One of Linda’s great loves was Mary Poppins, and like Mary Poppins, Linda was “Practically perfect in every way.”  She sang, she danced, and she made everything fun.  Linda literally sang her way through life and made up songs about whatever she was doing regardless of how trivial the task.  And, much like Mary Poppins, Linda brought a new and different energy to any room into which she would step.  In Mary Poppins, Mary and the children stop in the park to feed the birds and to make the acquaintance of the bird lady.  In Linda’s story, she was both Mary and the bird lady.  She loved birds, she loved watching the birds, and feeding the birds, and teaching her children and grandchildren, and anyone else, about the birds.  There was always a bird book near the window facing the bird feeder so that they could identify any unfamiliar birds that visited.  And she got terribly excited when a goldfinch stopped to have a snack and say hello and she made sure that Owen had a good set of binoculars so that he could see the birds too.

And loving birds was only a small part of Linda’s love of nature.  She loved the outdoors and was always happiest there.  She grew up camping and anytime that she went missing, everyone knew that you could probably find her near the fire circle.  And perhaps it was her time spent near the fire circle when she nurtured her ability to make the perfect smore.  She could toast a marshmallow any way that you liked it, from golden brown to crispy, to burnt.  Whatever was perfect for you, she could, and would, toast one just the way you liked it. She loved the water, but she loved being near the water and not on the water.  Whenever she was in a boat, she had white knuckles from holding on much too tightly.  But time on the shore had a much more relaxing and calming effect.

Linda’s father was a photography hobbyist and enthusiast and his love of photography infected her as well.  While she didn’t care to have her own darkroom or develop her own pictures, she was rarely without two or three cameras so that, wherever they went, she could get the perfect shot.

Linda always wanted what was best for her family, she did whatever she had to do, so that her children never knew how tight their money was, and she knew that she could never afford to send Jessica to college so she got work at Mount Union as a housekeeper so that, as staff, she would get a discount.  From there, she worked her way to the supply room, the key room, and the physical plant.  Then she had a heart attack and afterwards the university moved her to a less active secretarial position.  Somewhere along the line, she became “the duck lady” that could herd nesting ducks away from campus buildings and back to the lake.  Later she split her time between the physical plant and the chaplain’s office, and then finally full time at the chapel where, everyone knew that her gifts seemed perfectly matched to her position.  Mary Poppins, in the movie Mary Poppins Returns says, “Everything is possible, even the impossible.” And, Like Mary Poppins, Linda was known at UMU for doing the things that others thought were impossible.

One of things that often stood out, no matter where she went, was that Linda always put the needs of others ahead of her own.  Although she was often critical of herself, no matter who came in her office, she loved them.  Students who were far from home felt like they had a mom they could go to and no matter who she met, she liked to find the things that interested them.  Even when she was undergoing chemo, she was so focused on caring for others, and the needs of others, that many people didn’t even know that she was sick.  And even with all the things that she had on her mind, her friend Sarah Sherer told me that Linda agonized over whether she should retire or not because she didn’t want to leave anyone in the lurch.  She resisted taking sick days or Family leave days even when all of her friends and coworkers were urging her to do so, and to take care of herself, because she wanted to be sure that everyone else was taken care of first.

But as much as she cared for everyone, Linda’s family was everything to her.  As much as she gave of herself as work or at church, she did so many times over at home.  When she discovered that there was a Miami Dolphins playoff game being played while they were in Florida, despite the fact that she was not a Dolphins fan, and despite being undoubtedly expensive, and despite her dislike of driving in heavy traffic, Linda spent all day on the phone, found some available tickets, bought them, and drove to Miami so that Amanda, who was a fan, could have the once in a lifetime chance to see them in a playoff game.

Linda worried too much. She always knew what the weather was in Columbus before Amanda did and would call and warn her to take her umbrella, or to wear her galoshes, or a scarf, or whatever it is that mothers need to tell their children when the weather is bad.  All our moms did that, but Linda made an artform out of doing it long distance.  She worried about Amanda, and that created the need for Amanda to get an Instagram account and what she calls her “Amanda picture of the day.”  Every morning, Amanda would take a picture of herself, and send it to her mom, to reassure her that she was still alive and was doing alright.  This happened every morning, without fail, and if she was late, then Linda worried even more.

She was known for hot chicken sandwiches and cheesy potatoes, She and Sarah often made soup and salad for lunch for some of the faculty, staff, and students after chapel each week, and Linda always knew how to organize it and that chicken and rice certainly ought to be on the menu.  She wasn’t into fancy recipes, but she was a master at comfort food.  She, and her family, were obsessed with ice cream but she never drank alcohol.  This, of course led to a crisis for Amanda when she discovered that Linda was eating Rum Raisin ice cream.  In response to Amanda’s dismay at seeing her teetotaling mom “having alcohol,” Linda just explained that alcohol in ice cream “didn’t count.”

Linda was known for many things.  She was always smiling, rarely angry, she always made sure that the toilet was clean before company came, she had bright shining eyes that everyone noticed and remembered, even strangers would comment that she just smelled good, and somehow she made her favorite Clinique perfumes “Happy” and “Happy Heart,” smell different than they did on anyone else.  Her laugh, the “Linda cackle,” was well-known, could be heard from a considerable distance, often summoned friends who recognized it from around corners, and warmed the hearts of everyone withing earshot.   She loved all things Irish and, whenever the church basement sale received Irish themed items, they generally found their way to Linda before the sale ever started.  She was the favorite aunt that took them to the zoo and bought Evan his favorite dinosaurs and Ben said, “She was always comforting to me.  She always made me feel calm and endlessly happy, like being a kid all over again.  Being with her, and at her house, always relaxed me no matter what bad or stressful things were going on in the world.  I can’t think of someone who is more genuinely happy for others, so proud and thankful for her family, and so strong despite those fears and “quirks” she inherited from Grandma!”

There is so much more.

I know that I can’t tell you all of the stories that I have been told by Lynn, Jessica, Craig (whom she adored), Amanda, various church folk, Sarah, Ben, and Drew.  I apologize for not including them all.  I will add all of them to the text of this eulogy when I post it on by blog, but we just don’t have the time to share them all here.

For you who are her family, I hope that you remember that Linda Montgomery loved Jesus, and loved others like Jesus.  Linda loved others even at the expense of herself and her needs.  But as much as she loved others, she loved you more.  You were her reason to live and her reason to love.  You were her passion.  It was always your happiness that made her happiest.  Mary Poppins said that when the wind changed, it was time to go, even though the children were never ready for her to leave.    Like Mary Poppins, none of us were ready for Linda to leave.  But perhaps, it was just time.  Hold on to the love that Linda had for you.  Remember her laugh, her joy, her smell, her smile, her eyes, her love for others, and her love for you.  It was you who made her happy.  Hold on to the joy, the happiness, and the love that she gave to you.

And, because much of Linda lives on through you, I hope that you will share her love, her joy, and her happiness with the world around you.

Because life is hard, and all of us need more Mary Poppins-es and Linda Montgomerys in our lives.

Linda was indeed, “practically perfect in every way.”


Precious Memories

Linda Montgomery

Rev. Chris Martin

“Precious memories how they linger; how they ever flood my soul. In the stillness, of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold.”

Linda Montgomery was indeed a precious person. Regardless of the situation in which she found herself, Linda always wore a smile on her face. She showed kindness and compassion to everyone she met, always seeing the goodness in others, choosing to overlook anything less.  Her relaxed laughter made strangers into friends the moment she met them.  Linda was an easy person to love because she had the gift of putting people at ease in her presence.  While she was involved in so many things at Christ United Methodist Church, much of what she did was accomplished behind the scenes. She never sought recognition for what she did for others, preferring instead to work alongside others to share her talents and abilities.  Many of us at Christ Church knew her as the “reception” lady.  Often when there was a reception after a special program at church, Linda would not only solicit home-baked cookies from others, she would bake dozens-upon-dozens herself. Her emphasis was always on home-baked.

When the “Threads of Love” group formed to make prayer shawls for members and friends of the church who needed some additional love and concern, Linda took an active interest in this ministry. She was also instrumental in selecting and procuring a cabinet in which to store the prayer shawls until they were distributed.

When Lynn took over the responsibility of maintaining the church building and property, Linda was right there with him sharing in keeping everything clean and polished. Lynn and Linda had fun working together, often laughing as they completed their tasks.  Most of the conversations I shared with Linda were when I would stop at the church on Saturdays and she would be helping Lynn put the finishing touches on things so all would be ready for Sunday morning.  Those were truly precious times as Linda would talk about her daughters, Jessica and Amanda, and, of course, Owen.  I also remember Linda holding baby Owen in the back of the sanctuary during worship.  What joy he brought to her heart.  Jessica, Amanda and not-so-little-anymore Owen, your mom and Oma loved you more than life itself and still does as she watches over you now from her place in heaven.  Lynn and Linda loved and cared for each other in such a beautiful way, especially in the last months of Linda’s illness, when Lynn did everything he could to comfort and care for her.  Indeed, “Precious memories how they linger; how they ever flood my soul. In the stillness, of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold.”  Amen.

Chris Martin,

Pastor of Visitation

Christ United Methodist Church

Alliance, Ohio


Drew Shuster

Subject: Aunt Linda

I don’t have a particular story, but I did want to say that I will miss her laugh and her kind heart.   She had the kind of laugh that always made me laugh.   I will miss hearing her laugh at our family gatherings especially at Christmas when we always have such fun playing games and doing funny gift exchanges as a family.  She loved all of us kids so much and she always made sure we knew it.   Evan also wanted to say that she bought him his favorite dinosaurs when they were out together at the zoo and he will always think of her when he is playing with them.


Ben Shuster

Subject: My Aunt Linda remembrance

I just know that my mom and Grandma’s friends would always joke how Aunt Linda reminded them of Grandma Rickard — there was no mistaking she was Grandma’s daughter.  When I was a boy I loved going to Grandma’s house of course!  I always felt so at home there, a home away from my home.  Grandma would laugh and sit and watch us boys go crazy, say funny things, with love and happiness written all over face.

When Grandma passed, and as I grew up, and it became “Aunt Linda’s house” — every time I’d go visit I would think “wow, she really is looking more and more like grandma!”  Her laugh more like grandma’s, the way she’d sit and watch and laugh at us being silly adults.  And she became an Oma herself and it was official!  She was the new “Grandma.”

Since my dad passed away and we moved away, I’ve always felt so uncomfortable in Alliance — but not at that house on Glenwood, and not with Aunt Linda.  She was always comforting to me.  She always made me feel calm and endlessly happy, like being a kid all over again.  Being with her and at her house always relaxed me no matter what bad or stressful things were going on out in the world.  I can’t think of someone who is more genuinely happy for others, so proud and thankful for her family, and so strong despite those fears and “quirks” she inherited from Grandma!

I’ll keep remembering her like I remember my childhood — happy, laughing, joking, peaceful.  And I’ll plan to teach Alex what she taught us — that no matter how tall the odds or what fears we might have, you face them strong and you fight as best you can because your family loves you and will support you no matter what.

We love you Aunt Linda aka Oma!


Sara Sherer

UMU Director of Residence Life

Thoughts about Linda

Before actual “stories” I will say that the things that stood out to me most about Linda were how much she loved to laugh… and she had a great laugh.  She had a servant’s heart – she worried about other people working too hard, but she never stopped.  She loved her family and worried about them, but she was so proud of her girls, and her nephews and sister.  But, she just cared about people and was a great listener.  She was an awesome co-worker.  She always found a way to get things done, even when other people told you they couldn’t happen.

Stories:

  • When I first started working at Mount Union, I didn’t know my own office phone number… I thought I did, but I didn’t.  I had never lived anywhere where there were 2 exchanges in the same city… so I thought all Alliance phone numbers began with 823…. but my office line didn’t.  So, one time Linda called my office and told me that she called a friend and realized that the last 4 digits were the same as a co-workers… and her friend asked, is your co-worker Sara?  Can you tell her to stop giving out my number??
  • Similarly – I used to re-record my voicemail message every week.  We had to, to update who was the emergency contact on campus.  I hated it recording it and often it took several “takes” before I got all the way through the long message without saying something wrong.  Well, one day, I got a voicemail from Linda and she was just laughing so hard.  When I recorded my voicemail, I thought I was starting over with each of my do-overs, but Linda told me that each and everyone of them were recorded, back to back… and that it had taken me 8 attempts that time and she had listened to every single one, laughing harder with each of my attempts.
  • Then there was the time that I donated a coat to the church basement sale and in the coat pocket was a campus key!  Thank goodness Linda recognized the key and figured out it was mine (I was pretty new to church at that time) and got it back to me! That would have been an expensive loss!
  • I think that it may have been Susan Diser who originally invited me to come to choir… but it was sitting with Linda and Lucinda and Diane in the alto section that made it so much fun. The altos always got into trouble with Lanny, the director.  I’ve missed all of them in choir!  (although the altos still probably are the most unruly section!)  The biggest problem I had, besides getting in trouble with the altos, was that we sat beside the tenors, so often I would find myself singing tenor along with Lynn instead of the alto part!
  • Linda was the first person that Ian and I ever visited (outside of family).  I was on maternity leave (and living on campus) and Linda was at home recovering from a heart-attack, so I loaded Ian up in his stroller and we walked to visit Linda.
  • Similarly – I think that Linda was one of the first people to ever meet Mark… the week after he was born was VBS at church (combined with St. Joe’s that year) and Linda and Lynn agreed to pick up Ian and take him to bible school every night.  When she came the first night, she came in to meet Mark, but made a big fuss over Ian becoming a big brother and brought him a stuffed animal dog – of the golden-retriever variety.  Ian immediately named him Sandy and he was the precious stuffy that had to go on everywhere with us.  I was pretty certain Sandy would end up going to college with Ian.
  • For the last couple of years, Linda and I have planned and provided light lunches, often soup and salad, for a small group of students/faculty/staff after chapel service most weeks.  She was a great partner!  I needed a decision maker.  At the beginning of a semester I sent a whole list of fancy soups that I could make… and the one that Linda requested first was chicken and rice!  It was such an “old standby” that I almost didn’t put it on the list.
  • She agonized about whether or not to retire.  She didn’t want to leave anyone in a lurch.  She fought against taking sick days and eventually FMLA even when we were all urging her to take the time off and take care of herself.  She wanted to make sure that we were all taken care of first.

Obituary for Linda Montgomery

Linda Montgomery

Linda Rickard Montgomery, age 59, of Alliance, passed away on June 18, 2020 at the Cleveland Clinic due to complications after courageously fighting leukemia and lymphoma.

She was born June 25, 1960 in Alliance, Ohio to Kenneth and Marjorie Rickard. A graduate of Alliance High School, class of 1978, Linda worked at the University of Mount Union since 1995 where she held many positions, but finally finding her perfect niche in the Dewald Chapel. She was planning to retire this month.

Linda was a member of Christ United Methodist Church where she spent many years as part of the choir and Threads of Love. She also served as the head of the reception committee and a member of the Friendship II Sunday School class. Linda was also a long-time member of Rainbow Girls and the Eastern Star.

Linda loved camping and being outdoors, spending time with her family, Christmas, bird watching.  She was always smiling and bringing joy to others, especially with her famous laugh, the “Linda cackle”.

Survivors include her longtime partner, Lynn Goldrick; daughters, Jessica (Craig) Crider of Salem, OH, and Amanda Montgomery of Columbus, OH; grandson, Owen Crider; sister, Susan (Dieter) Kahle of Solon, OH; nephews, Drew (Erin) Shuster of North Ridgeville, OH, and Ben (Erin) Shuster of Arlington, VA; great nephews, Evan, Isaac, and Alexander.

She was preceded in death by her parents.

A private funeral service will held.  She will be laid to rest beside her parents at Alliance City Cemetery.

Memorial contributions can be made in her name to American Red Cross (monetary or blood donations) http://www.redcross.org or Christ United Methodist Church 470 Broadway St. Alliance, OH 44601.

Arrangements are entrusted to Cassaday-Turkle-Christian Funeral Home, Alliance, Ohio.  Friends may register online at www.ctcfuneral.com.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Linda Montgomery, please visit our floral store.

 

Free to be Unfriended

Free to be Unfriended

June 21, 2020*

By Pastor John Partridge

 

Genesis 21:8-21           Matthew 10:24-39                 Romans 6:1b-11

 

There is a meme circulating on social media that says, “I was asked if I was willing to lose friends over politics and I said, I’m willing to lose friends over morals.  Big difference.”  At the same time, I have had a number of friends who occasionally comment that they have been unfriended, or have unfriended others, because of their particular views regarding the upcoming election, or the Coronavirus, or over the national struggle with discrimination and hatred, or some other thing.  It is difficult for many of us to disconnect ourselves from people who have been friends in real life, or even who have become friends virtually, and it is just as hard when they feel the need to disconnect from us.  As human beings, we yearn for a connection with others and that makes enduring the separation caused by the pandemic even harder.  Something inside of us yearns for connection and want to be liked.  It is almost as hard for us as adults as it was for us on the playground when one of our playmates turned their backs on us and said, “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

But from the time we were on that grade school playground until now, many of us have learned several truths about friends.  First, not everyone wants to be our friend.  Second, not every friend wants what is best for you.  Third, sometimes we find that our lives are going in such dramatically different directions that we either leave some friends behind, or they leave us.  When that happens, as it has from childhood, we find that the experience can be painful, but still sometimes necessary if our lives are to continue moving in the direction that we have chosen.

But what does any of that have to do with the scripture, with church, or with our life of faith?  Quite a bit.  As we read the stories of God’s people, it doesn’t take long to find many examples of times when they had to leave behind their friend or families so that they could follow God in a new direction.  We begin this morning in Genesis 21:8-21 where we find Abraham unable to overcome the animosity that has grown between the two mothers of his two sons.

The child grew and was weaned, and on the day, Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba.

15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she began to sob.

17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”

19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So, she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.

Abraham made a mistake.  Although he was trusting that God would fulfill his promise to give him children and make him the father of nations, because God seemed to be taking too long, Abraham decided to help God out and make a baby with one of his servants.  Then, later, when God fulfills his promise through his elderly wife Sarah, the two birthmothers do not get along.  Abraham is the father of both children, but he cannot control the jealousy, envy, fear, anger, and hatred that are boiling between the two of them.  Abraham wants to protect both of his sons but cannot find a way for both to live in the same household.  But while he is worrying, God promises that he will care for, and protect, Hagar’s son so that he too will become the father of a great nation.  And so, with what I imagine is great reluctance, Abraham sends Hagar and his firstborn son, away from their encampment and out into the desert wilderness.  If we were to consider this without God’s promise of protection, we would be outraged at Abraham’s cruelty.  And even so, it is difficult to imagine the wrenching emotions that were experienced by everyone involved as half of the family was sent away into what had to look like certain suffering and death.

But God had called Abraham to travel a road that they could no longer travel together.

And while it is one thing to watch as this happens to Abraham, it is a lot more personal when we hear Jesus warn us to be prepared to do the same thing in Matthew 10:24-39.

24 “The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!

26 “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

32 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.

34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father,
    a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
36     a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Much like we heard last week, our goal is to become.  Jesus says that the goal is for his followers to become like him.  And, since the world has hated him, and even called him the devil incarnate, then we should not be surprised if, and when, the same thing happens to us.  We are called to live like Jesus and not to be afraid of the consequences of doing so.  We are warned that by following Jesus we have chosen to follow a different, and sometimes difficult path.  Sometimes we will be hated for being like Jesus, and sometimes the path that we follow will carry us away from, and destroy our relationships with, our friends and closest family members.  But despite the risk, the pain, and the loss, we must have the courage to stand up for what is right and follow the path to which we have been called.  Do not be afraid to be associated with Jesus.  Do not be afraid to be unfriended.

But by becoming like Jesus, there is one more thing that we are called to leave behind and doing so might even be harder than leaving behind our relationships or being unfriended.  In Paul’s letter to the church in Rome (Romans 6:1b-11) he describes it this way:

6:1 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Because we have chosen to follow Jesus, because he has poured out his grace, mercy, and forgiveness on us, and because we have taken up the goal of becoming like him, we must also leave behind our sin, and the life of sin that we once led.  Let’s face it, although we all sin differently, we each have sins that are familiar and comfortable.  But the call of Jesus Christ is a call to courage.  We must have the courage to leave our old self behind and become something, and someone, new.  We must stop sinning and become as good, and as righteous, as we possibly can.

For many of us, following Jesus sets us on a course that goes in a radically different direction than the one we were headed in our old lives.  But even when the change is less dramatic, we often find that our path is just enough different that we either leave some friends behind, or they leave us.  When that happens, although we find the experience to be painful, it is still necessary if our lives are to continue moving in the direction that we have chosen.  And it may be that the hardest things that we leave behind are our old lives, and the sins that have become comfortable and familiar.

We have been given a great gift.

We have been given a second chance.

Let us have the courage to leave behind whatever, and whoever, we must, so that we can be like Jesus.

 

Have a great week everybody.

 

 

 


You can find the video of this worship service here: https://youtu.be/ep_vM5BP0hY

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*You have been reading a message presented at Christ United Methodist Church on the date noted at the top of the first page.  Rev. John Partridge is the pastor at Christ UMC in Alliance, Ohio.  Duplication of this message is a part of our Media ministry, if you have received a blessing in this way, we would love to hear from you.  Letters and donations in support of the Media ministry or any of our other projects may be sent to Christ United Methodist Church, 470 East Broadway Street, Alliance, Ohio 44601. These messages are available to any interested persons regardless of membership.  You may subscribe to these messages, in print or electronic formats, by writing to the address noted, or by contacting us at secretary@CUMCAlliance.org.  If you have questions, you can ask them in our discussion forum on Facebook (search for Pastor John Online).  These messages can also be found online at https://pastorpartridge.wordpress.com/. All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

The High Cost of Shortcuts

Years ago, I saw a poster with a phrase that has stuck with me.  It said, “If you don’t have the time to do something right the first time, how will you ever find the time to do it over again?”  It’s sort of funny, but it turns out that this cuts to the heart of a lot of the shortcuts we take in life.

We’re tempted to buy cheap shoes, or cheap toys, or cheap lawnmowers because, well, because they’re cheap.  But then they break or wear out much sooner than we expected them to and we end up replacing them… over and over again.  But after we’ve paid for the cheap thing three times, we realize that we would have been better off paying more for the better one.  In the everyday rush to get from one thing to another, we often do the same thing when we choose between options that will get the job done quickly versus a better solution that takes a little longer.  And almost as often, we regret that we didn’t choose the better solution while we’re doing it all over again.

But how we make these choices with televisions and lawnmowers should be different than how we make choices that have long lasting consequences.  If we want to raise children that have a strong moral compass and positive values, it simply doesn’t pay to take shortcuts.  And we see this play out in our spiritual lives as well.  We thank God for the gift that our parents gave us by raising us in the church, teaching us scripture, and modeling biblical values, but that gift came at a price in time and commitment that many seem unwilling to pay.

But closer to home, we find this to be true of our own feelings of well-being and mental health.  We wish that we could slow down and find a few moments of rest, but we say ‘yes’ to too many things, schedule our calendars from morning until dark seven days a week and find ourselves constantly tired and irritable.  We wish that we could be closer to God and live a more spiritual life, but our hectic schedules only allow us to find our way to church once or twice a month, or maybe just a few times each year.  As much as we might wish otherwise, some of the most important things can’t be rushed.

The cost of taking shortcuts is too high.

As addicting as social media might be, it just doesn’t work to build real friendship.  Close friendships require that we spend time getting to know one another.  There’s no way that you can finish one another’s sentences, know what someone else is thinking, or order their favorite food before they arrive at the restaurant if we haven’t spent lots of quality time in one another’s company.

We rob ourselves of that kind of intimacy with our friends when we try to take short-cuts.  Likewise, we rob ourselves of the power, mystery, and majesty of Christmas by skipping the time that was set aside for repentance and reflection during Advent.  If we truly want to find rest, draw closer to God, and to become more like Jesus, we need to make the time to invest in that relationship.

During this Christmas season, I hope that all of us will remember that God gave humanity a day of rest as a gift and not as a burden.  God didn’t need to rest for one day each week, but the lesson was so important that he modeled it for us even at the creation of the world.

It is only when we make the time, when we are willing to pay the price of time and commitment, to our personal well-being, to our friends, and to our faith, that we finally discover…

…Peace on Earth.

 

 

 

 


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Madelon J. Andrews – Eulogy and Obituary

Eulogy for Madelon J. Andrews

May 13, 2019

A Memory shared by Mary Neese

 

When I first met Madelon, I had a feeling that we were going to be good friends.  We talked a lot about our families and other things.  Then the 10-cent sale came along.  When we first started, I worked in the gym and I think she did too.  We would kid each other about different things, then one year, Denise asked me if I would work the boutique, and I was so glad when Madelon decided to work with me.  It was a lot of work, but we had fun doing it.  The last time we worked it, we were both so tired at the end that we both said that we were getting too old for the job, so we retired, but I wouldn’t change my time that we had together for anything.  During the time we had together, we learned a lot about each other.  She was a special person in my life, and I am glad that we had all that time together.

 

 

A Life “Full”

by Pastor John Partridge

 

I was told quite clearly that this time of remembrance is not a time of mourning but is intended to be a celebration of the life that was Madelon J. Andrews.  She was our friend, coworker, family member, grandmother, and mother and it is without dispute or doubt that her life has deeply enriched all of ours and, in fact, for many of us who are gathered here, much of who we are is because of what Madelon was and what she taught us.

I want to confess, up front, the majority of the words that I have prepared for today are not my own.  Steve has coordinated and collected stories from Madelon’s family as well as from some of her church friends and that is what most what you are about to hear.  All that I have done is to put in a “file tabs” to classify them into a handful of ideas.  Madelon’s was a life that was “full” in  many ways.

First, Madelon was help-“full.”   Her life was all about helping others.  Sandy Watkins remembered that you could always count on Madelon.  If she told you that she would do something, then you absolutely knew that she would do it.  But not only was Madelon helpful, she was also faith-“full.”  Madelon was always volunteering.  When Park Church first launched the Free Store, Madelon was one of the very first volunteers, and every Thursday she was, faithfully, at work at the Good Neighbors community food bank in Goodyear Heights.

Madelon was all about helping others.  Whether she was at the Free Store sorting clothes, or greeting people as they registered at Good Neighbors, Madelon was always in the middle of things.  She spent one day each week at the Lawndale Elementary School helping in the Kindergarten class.  She would help out doing whatever was needed, but most likely would be found reading to the kids.  She was affectionately known as Gramma Madelon.  And with that ongoing relationship with the teachers, she became a liaison to Park Church, where a yearly collection of school supplies for the kids was developed, as well as having a luncheon for the teachers before the start of each new school year.  And, of course, she was also a part of the 10-cent sale at Park Church for many years.  She would be here, sorting clothes with Mary Neese, Johanna Henline, Nancy Reichman, and others.  On occasion, Madelon would find a, um, “unique” outfit and model it for everyone.  I’m told that there are pictures, but discretion forbids us from showing them to you at this time.

Pastor Linda Somerville remembers that it was Madelon, Johanna, and Mary who were always trying to find the flashiest, cheapest, tackiest, jewelry and show it off at Bible Study.  And of course, one of the advantages of sorting things for the ten-cent sale was the opportunity to “pre-shop” the donated items.  When Pastor Linda had knee surgery and couldn’t make it to the ten-cent sale one year, it was Madelon who found the tackiest items in the entire room that year, put them in the biggest pill case that you’ve ever seen, and “gifted” them to the pastor, during Sunday worship, in front of everyone.  The funny thing is, Pastor Linda is still using that pill case.  Pastor Linda also remembers what she refers to as “that spunky nature of hers” that sometimes displayed itself as an incredible courage in the face of really unpleasant things.  But, despite her courage, spunkiness, and determination, Linda also noticed the softness that Madelon displayed whenever she was with Matthew and TJ.

In the last year, despite her own problems, Madelon was helping her across-the-street-neighbor, Carol.  Carol has had trouble with her vision, and so whenever Carol needed to go shopping, or pick up a prescription, Madelon would pick her up and take here where she needed to go… but that usually meant that they would also have to stop off at Wink’s in Barberton to get a hamburger while they were out.

But Madelon’s life wasn’t just about being “faithful” and “helpful” but it was also simply “full” of love.  Madelon was all about family.  Family gatherings, family celebrations, family vacations, and supporting her family in all of their activities whether they were band shows, concerts, award ceremonies, dance recitals, basketball, soccer, or baseball games.  Our family, even though we were sort of extended in-laws, benefitted from Madelon’s sense of family too.  Each year it was as if our kids had an extra set of grandparents because they could expect some kind of Christmas present whenever we met for the annual Thanksgiving feast.  Patti and I, as well as my mom, my brother Dean, and pretty much anybody who showed up, always went home with a big box of mixed nuts or something as well.

The story of their family vacations has some history to it that is worth retelling. In the early years, Susie’s family would go on vacation and pull a tent camper.  But as the family began to grow, and as siblings got married, camping turned into large family vacations at the beach.  First there was Ocean City, then Assateague Island with the wild horses roaming around, then Bethany Beach where it rained so hard that the family all has memories of walking together in the flooded streets.  And then, finally, for many years it was Top Sail Island.  And, as we remember family vacations, I am supposed to mention to the Madelon’s family these three words: Red. Hot. Dogs.  I don’t know what that means.  You’ll have to ask if one of them will tell you about it.

As a sidebar to Madelon’s vacation stories, it was obvious that Madelon never met a stranger.  When the family started taking trips to Top Sail Island, they would have to make a couple of stops along the way.  And they lost count of the times that they came out of the bathrooms to find Madelon talking to the occupants of the car next to them.  She would ask them where they were going, what they were going to do there, and on and on.  It only took a moment for Madelon to notice a license plate or someone walking their dog, or simply asking, “where are you going?” and she was off making new friends and having a great conversation with someone who, just a moment ago had been a total stranger.

Madelon loved her grandchildren, and she loved it whenever they could cove to visit her.  Whether it was just an overnighter, or for a week, it was a special time.  Going to the Akron Zoo was always a must, arts and crafts were usually a part of their time together and, on occasion, a cooking class or two.  At some point, Madelon had taken some painting classes that had been offered by a former Park Church pianist and so, when the kids came to visit, Madelon would practice her newfound techniques with them.  Sometimes those visits included a night or two out at the Acres in the trailer, and with each of the kids there was something special.  With each one it was different.  There were always special breakfasts and suppers, for Matt, TJ, and Stacey, it was spaghetti and meatballs, and with Madelon, Cameron, and Patrick, it was Galuch’s Pizza.

Madelon’s love of her family was obvious to everyone of us who had eyes.  Sandy remembers that Madelon only had praise and love for her family and was always proud of all of them.  If Madelon didn’t show up at Bible Study, everyone knew that she was probably enjoying some time with her grandchildren.  Whenever Susie would go to Jamaica on another mission trip, Madelon would be anxious, and worry, and ask her friends for special prayer.  And it was just as obvious that Madelon never stopped missing Roger because he never hesitated to tell her friends how life without him would never be the same.

But with that, we’ve circled back to “faithful.”  In the last couple of months, Madelon longed to be home with her Jesus.  However, before she left, she made out a short, and somewhat unusual, bucket list.  Rather than list a bunch of things that she wanted to do, Madelon made out a list of foods that she wanted to eat before she met Jesus face to face.  I don’t have the whole list, but there were angel wings, taco salad, chili, cherry pie, coleslaw from Whitehouse, a bear claw, and an apricot and cheese Danish.

Madelon had a strong faith.  In the midst of fighting cancer for the last year, she worked through it, and she always knew that God was in control.  She longed to go home to be with Jesus, and to see Roger again, as well as other old friends.  In the last couple of weeks, Madelon would comment to Susie, “I’m so tired, I’m so tired.”  There was one day, after Susie had moved into the house to care for her, that Susie looked in on Madelon to check on her and to see how she was sleeping or to watch her breathe, and as she did, Madelon rolled over, looked at Susie, and said, “I’m not dead yet?”  To which Susie answered, “No, Mom, you’re not dead yet.”  This was, again, another indication of Madelon’s faith and her desire to go home to glory.

It was Madelon’s prayer, and it remains the prayer of her family, that all of us could have the same kind of confidence in our eternal destination that Madelon did.  Knowing Jesus, and accepting his invitation to follow him, and to be adopted into his family, can result in exactly that kind of confidence that we will also meet Jesus face to face and share stores of weird outfits, of cheap jewelry, of family, of faith, and of love.  If you don’t have that kind of confidence, and you’d like to find out how to have it, Madelon wouldn’t want you to leave here today without asking Steve, or Susie, or one of us pastors about how you can have it too.

Madelon Andrews lived a life that was full.  She was helpful, faithful, courageous, dependable, committed, and full of love for her family, and for everyone around her.  Madelon’s entire life was a life that was, in every way…

…full.

And in her fullness, Madelon Andrews has poured out love, hope, grace, determination, courage, faithfulness, love and many other things into all of us, and into the lives of all the people around her.

May we, through her example, do half as well.

 

To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me

A poem found among Madelon’s personal notes to her family

When I am gone, release me, let me go.

I have so many things to see and do,

You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears.

Be thankful for our beautiful years.

I gave you my love,

You can only guess,

How much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown,

But now it’s time I traveled on alone.

So, grieve awhile if grieve you must,

Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It’s only for a time that we must part,

So bless the memories within your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on,

So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near,

And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,

All my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone,

I’ll greet you with a smile and say,

“Welcome Home!”

(author unknown – possibly Ardis Marletta)

 

 

 

Obituary for Madelon J. Andrews

 

Madelon J. Andrews, 87, of New Franklin passed away on May 10, 2019. She worked as a nurse for over ten years at Edwin Shaw. She was a member of Park United Methodist Church and volunteered at Good Neighbors Food Pantry and in the kindergarten class at Lawndale Elementary School, where she was known as Grandma Madelon.

Madelon was preceded by her husband of 53 years, Roger Andrews. She is survived by her children, Douglas (Tami) Andrews, Greg (Tammy) Andrews and Susan (Stephen) Partridge; grandchildren, Stacey, Matthew, TJ, Cameron, Madelon and Patrick.

A Celebration Of Life service will be held at Park United Methodist Church, 2308 24th St. S.W. on Monday at 7 p.m. officiated by Rev. John Partridge. The family will receive friends an hour before from 6 to 7. Donations, if desired may be made to Good Neighbors Food Pantry.

 

(Published in Akron Beacon Journal May 12 to May 13, 2019)

Eulogy and Obituary for Wayne A. “Moose” Rinehart

Eulogy for

Wayne A. Rinehart

January 16, 2019

By Rev. John Partridge

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

3:1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

Matthew 5:1-12

5:1 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I spent some time talking to Wayne’s friend, Maggie Bugara, yesterday to get a sense of who Wayne Rinehart was.  It didn’t take too long to understand that he was a nice guy and the sort of a man that people respected and liked to be around.  Wayne didn’t ever really have a use for the church so, as a pastor, many of the things that I usually say at funerals feels sort of awkward or out of place.  But as a veteran, I think I have a feeling for who Wayne was at a different level.

Wayne Rinehart, “Moose” to many of his friends, was a kind man.  He was a long-time member, and twice elected commander, of VFW Post 1036 here in Alliance.  He selflessly spent his time, his talent, and his treasure to work for, and to help fellow veterans.  In return, those veterans became friends and loved him back.  And in the last few years, after he had moved to the Danbury, he continued to make friends of both his fellow residents as well as the staff there.  Wayne was a kind, compassionate, and loving man.

But Wayne Rinehart was also a man who loved his family.  He never stopped loving his wife Marjorie, whom he married in 1959, and to whom he remained married for 49 years.  Even after he lost Marjorie in 2008, Wayne never stopped missing her.  Wayne also loved his brothers and sisters and their children, his daughter Sherri, and his granddaughter Ashlyn.

For years, one of his favorite things in the world was to go to fairs and horse shows, and watch Ashlyn show horses.  He was so very proud of her, and almost never stopped talking about his great love, and his pride in her.  Even after he and Sherri were estranged from one another, he never stopped caring, or loving, any of his family.   He missed them and wanted them to be a part of his life.  Even as he neared death, he would call out to them.  In fact, Wayne often wondered what he had done wrong and thought about how things could ever be made right between them again.  Many tears were shed with his friends as he thought about such things and their separation weighed heavily upon him.  In the end, his friends think that Wayne just gave up fighting, and it is entirely possible that Wayne simply died of a broken heart.

But through it all, it is clear that Wayne “Moose” Rinehart touched many lives, and many of you who are gathered here can testify to what he has meant to you in your life.

There’s an often repeated saying that is worth repeating again here:

Cry not because he’s gone.
Smile because he was here.

And now, I’m turning the eulogy over to you, because each of you knew Wayne better than I did.  What is it that you remember?  How did Moose touch your life?  How did he make you smile?  How did he make you laugh?  These are the things that you should remember, hold onto, and treasure.

 

 

Obituary for

Wayne A. “Moose” Rinehart

 

wayne rinehartWayne Allen “Moose” Rinehart, age 86, of Alliance, passed away at 4:35 p.m., Thursday, January 10, 2019, at Danbury Senior Living of Alliance.

He was born August 23, 1932, in Garards Fort, Pennsylvania, to Calvin “Ed” and Gail (Blake) Rinehart.

Wayne served in the United States Army from 1953 to 1955.

He was employed with Highway Asphalt: Division of Kenmore Construction until his retirement.

Wayne joined the International Union of Operating Engineers in 1955, the Masonic Lodge in 1964 and was a lifetime member of the VFW Post 1036, which he served as commander two times.

He enjoyed gambling and loved watching his granddaughter show her horses.
Survivors include his daughter, Sherri (Jim) Pinkerton; granddaughter, Ashlyn Pinkerton; and sister, Carol White, all of Alliance; and close friend and caregiver, Maggie Bugara, of Sebring.

In addition to his parents, Wayne was preceded in death by his wife, Marjorie (McCreery) Rinehart, whom he married July 4, 1959 and who died January 7, 2008; three brothers and a sister.

Services will be held 11 a.m., Wednesday, January 16, 2019 at Cassaday-Turkle-Christian Funeral Home with Pastor John Partridge officiating. Friends may call from 5 to 7 p.m., Tuesday, January 15, at the funeral home. Interment will be at Highland Memorial Park.
Arrangements are by Cassaday-Turkle-Christian Funeral Home 75 S. Union Ave., Alliance, OH 44601.

 

 

You Do Not Grieve Alone

Reflections for A Celebration of Memories

Saturday, December 01, 2018

Cassaday-Turkle-Christian Funeral and Cremation Service

 

Let’s be honest with each other.  In a perfect world, all of us would have something else to do today.  But it is precisely because this isn’t a perfect world that we’re struggling.  We’re here because someone that means something to us is missing this Christmas.  Four years ago, our family buried my father just before Thanksgiving and this summer we unexpectedly lost my second oldest brother, Dean.  But all of us are here because the world we live in is, obviously, not perfect.  But even in an imperfect world, those of us who are struggling can come together and struggle together.  In a lot of ways, struggling together can be a like a club for lonely people.  When lonely people come together, they become just a little bit less lonely.  Loneliness shared weighs us down just a little bit less.  In the same way, people who grieve together, and share their grief with one another, discover that their burden has grown a little lighter, the room has become a little less dark, and the future filled with just a little more hope.

And so, I’m glad to be here with you, I’m glad that you could be here with me, and I hope that together we can shine some light into a dark corner of our lives. 

I want to share a couple of stories with you this evening.  The first begins with an American hero who served in both WW2 and in the Korean conflict, flying 100 combat missions in six months’ time, and earning the distinguished flying cross and the Air Medal with an oak leaf cluster before eventually becoming a NASA test pilot, Mercury and Gemini astronaut, and was ultimately killed in the Apollo 1 fire during launch testing.  Of course, I’m talking about Gus Grissom, but that’s not the story that I want to focus on.  Instead, I want to think about the widow of Gus Grissom, Betty Moore Grissom.  But the funny thing is, I really can’t tell you a lot about her.  I spent a considerable amount of time searching for information about what Betty did and how she lived after Gus’ death, but other than her obituary and a few comments about Gus’ infidelity, the only thing that anyone seems to remember about Betty is that she raised her two sons, got them through school at  Gus’ alma mater, Perdue University, and that she successfully sued the manufacturer of the capsule that was responsible for the Apollo 1 fire.  It’s quite possible that Betty got stuck but it might just be that she preferred to live her life in private.  From what we know, Betty still raised two sons, kept watch over Gus’ legacy, and did what she could to make sure that people remembered the good that Gus had done.  You see, when someone once asked Betty why she stayed with Gus even though everyone knew he had girlfriends on the side, she basically said, “I knew he loved me most.” 

Just last year, only months before she passed away, Betty made one last trip to the annual memorial for the Apollo 1 astronauts.  You see, after the fire and the ensuing investigation, some of the launch pad was torn down, but much of it was left intact, and officially classified as “Abandoned in place” as a memorial to the three men who died there.  And every year, family, friends, guests, astronauts, NASA officials, and a few others visit the brass marker there, remember the legacy of those men, and honor their lives.

So, what’s my point in all of this?

Even if Betty Grissom got stuck in her grief, she knew two things.  First, although Gus Grissom was human and had flaws, although he was far from perfect, Betty chose to remember the good.  Betty Grissom never focused on the pain, but instead focused on Gus’ legacy, his memory, and on raising two sons that would make him proud.  NASA, as an organization, did something very similar.  Although NASA had disagreements and arguments with both Gus and with Betty, some very public, NASA didn’t focus on that, instead they chose to focus on moving forward into a brighter future while remembering the legacy of the Apollo 1 astronauts and their contributions to the program.

Honestly, this is healthy, and we do this all the time.

We remember that George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves, we remember that nearly half of the delegates to the first Constitutional Convention were slave owners, and we remember that Winston Churchill was a racist.  But those aren’t the things that we dwell on.  Instead, we choose to remember their legacies and their positive contributions to history.

We honor their lives and remember the good.  We shouldn’t forget that our loved ones were flawed, but we choose to remember the best of them and keep alive the memories of the good that they did, the legacy that they left, and the reasons that we loved them.

Let’s take a break for minute.

Here’s what I want you to do.

Close your eyes and remember.  Remember the people that you’ve lost.  Picture them in your mind.

What did they do, what action did they take, what words did they say, that told you that they loved you?

What did they do that allowed you to experience joy?

What did they do that made you laugh?

What did they do that inspired you, or encouraged you, to become a better person?

If you had 30 seconds to tell me who and what they were, what words would you use?

Remember their love, remember their passion, their forgiveness, their laughter, remember those things that make their memories shine and which make your heart warm.

Scripture tells us that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses.  Our loved ones are watching and they don’t want us to get stuck.

You can open your eyes now.

But that isn’t all that there is.  There’s another message that we need to remember, and for that I want to tell you the story of Elisabeth Elliot.  Some of you may have heard of her, but the odds are that many of you haven’t.  Back in 1956, Elisabeth Elliot’s husband, Jim, along with five other missionaries, made contact with the Huaorani people in the jungles of eastern Ecuador.  While they had spent months exchanging gifts and building trust between them, at one meeting along the river, tribesmen attacked the five missionaries and killed all five men. 

Elisabeth Elliot was faced with a choice.  She could, along with several of the other widows and their families, take her daughter and return home to the United States or, she could stay and do what she could.  Despite the urgings of her family and many of her friends back home, she chose to stay.  Two years later, Elisabeth and her daughter Valerie moved into the Huaorani village with the same men who had killed her husband and she eventually befriended them.  In 1969 she remarried, in 1974 she became an adjunct professor at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, about the same time, she also worked as a consultant on the project to write the New International Version of the bible, and from 1988 to 2001 she could be heard across the country on her syndicated radio show, “Gateway to Joy.” If that wasn’t enough, in 1957, Elisabeth Elliot wrote a book, “Through Gates of Splendor” about their missionary journey and her husband’s killing, and over the course of her life followed that up by writing more than twenty more books, as well as making book tours and public speaking engagements all over the world until her death in 2015 at the age of 88.

So why am I telling you all this?  Why should we care about the widow of a missionary who died in 1958?

Because Elisabeth Elliot knew something important.

Elisabeth Elliot knew that despite her loss, and despite the trauma that she had suffered, that her work wasn’t finished, that there was more that God intended for her to do with her life.  It wasn’t always easy.  When I heard her radio show, I remember her telling someone who was experiencing grief and loss that during some of the hardest times of her life, when it she didn’t know how she could go on, she remembered a piece of advice that had been given to her.  She remembered to “Do the next thing.”  Don’t stop.  Don’t get stuck.  Do something.  Do the next thing.  In fact, so important was this piece of advice, that Elisabeth Elliot often quoted a poem about it entitled, not surprisingly, “Do The Next Thing.”

 

Do The Next Thing

(a poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot)

 

At an old English Parsonage down by the sea,

there came in the twilight a message to me.

Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven,

that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.

And all through the hours the quiet words ring,

like a low inspiration, “Do the next thing.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,

many a doubt hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment, let down from heaven,

time, opportunity, guidance are given.

Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,

trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

 

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,

Do it reliantly, casting all care.

Do it with reverence, tracing his hand,

Who placed it before thee with earnest command.

Stayed on omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,

Leave all resulting, do the next thing.

 

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,

working or suffering be thy demeanor,

in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,

the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.

Do the next thing.

 

Sometimes, in the midst of our grief, all that we can manage is to… do the next thing, to survive.  But the thing that the life of Elisabeth Elliot should teach every one of us is that as long as we draw breath, our life isn’t over.  Our grief isn’t the end. We cannot get stuck and wallow in our grief. 

Do the next thing. 

And keep on doing the next thing, and the next thing, and the next…

God has plans for you, your family has need of you, your life still has purpose, there are still things for you to do.  Yes, we should honor the memories of the ones that we have lost, but we don’t honor them by getting stuck.  We also need to explore and to discover what’s next.  What does God, what does life, have in store for us?  Regardless of the past, regardless of our grief or our suffering, we hold in our hands the keys to our future and it is never too late to begin writing the next chapter. 

You are the hero of the story that you are writing every day by living your life.  The next chapter of your life has not yet been written.  Don’t you dare write a story about a hero who got stuck and stayed at home and never did anything interesting ever again.  Don’t write a story about a hero who got stuck.  Discover, explore, become who you were made to be tomorrow.  Imagine who you could be, imagine what the hero of your story would do, imagine what your legacy could be, imagine what you would like to be remembered for.  Get out there, travel, explore, write books, tell stories, paint pictures, dance, live life, invest yourself in others, and don’t forget… to love.

Merry Christmas.

 

 


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Rev. John Partridge is the pastor at Christ UMC in Alliance, Ohio.  Duplication of this message is a part of our Media ministry, if you have received a blessing in this way, we would love to hear from you.  Letters and donations in support of the Media ministry or any of our other projects may be sent to Christ United Methodist Church, 470 East Broadway Street, Alliance, Ohio 44601. These messages are available to any interested persons regardless of membership.  You may subscribe to these messages, in print r electronic formats, by writing to the address noted, or by contacting us at secretary@CUMCAlliance.org.  If you have questions, you can ask them in our discussion forum on Facebook (search for Pastor John Online).  These messages can also be found online at https://pastorpartridge.com/.All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

Eulogy and Obituary for Marcene Buchs

Eulogy for Marcene Buchs

October 06, 2018

by Pastor John Partridge

My family and I moved to Alliance during the last week of June.  And so, on Thursday of this week, when Mike and Amy asked me if I had even had a chance to meet Marcene, I honestly wasn’t sure.  Until I stared working on my remarks for today and pulled up her obituary and saw her photograph.  But then I knew.  I knew that I had met Marcene but hadn’t yet had the chance to get to know her.  But many others did.  At church, Marcene was known to be a sweet lady who was always well put together.  She was always dressed fashionably, not to in any way act as if she was better than anyone else, but simply because being impeccably dressed was important to her.  She had flair.  People noticed when Marcene entered a room.  She was known, always, to be a classy lady as well as a person of deep and personal faith.

Marcene Buchs grew up taking care of her dad.  And when she had done that then it was time to take care of her mom, and then it was her Aunt Ellen.  She was a caregiver.  It wasn’t a life that she chose, but she accepted it as her responsibility.  She grew up in Beechwood in a family of farmers.  But she came to Christ United Methodist Church more than 60 years ago when her family moved to Alliance while she was in the fifth grade.  She was both faithful and dedicated to our church and was sure to attend every week for as long as she was able.

Over the years, she worked as a secretary and kept the bills paid.  She didn’t have a fairy tale life by any stretch of the imagination, but she was known for her strength of character, she always took the high road, did things the “right way,” and always did everything well and with excellence.  Although she never felt sorry for herself, sometimes the events and the circumstances of her life led her to feel insecure.  She lived in a small town, and she knew what people said about her, but that, and despite her insecurity, she refused to retreat, and forced herself to participate in the community.

Marcene was always “super-devoted” to her family and to her grandchildren.  She didn’t just care about what they did, she devoted herself to exploring, learning, and doing her very best to understand what they did whether it was sports, or music, or quilting, publishing, or rocket science. Marcene was a reader, and she had always read everything.   But whenever she knew what her family or friends were interested in, she read about that too.  Although she didn’t have a CD player in her home, she did have one in her car.  And so, in order to listen to her grandson Chase’s CD’s, she would get in her car and drive around town so that she could listen to them.  As Mike and Amy went through her things, they discovered that Marcene had kept detailed records of her life and of her family’s life.  Events and projects that they had long forgotten, were carefully recorded and kept in her albums and notebooks.

Marcene Buchs was a minimalist who loved order.  She owned a small number of outfits and when she bought a new one, an old one had to go.  Nothing in her home was out of place.  She appreciated order and she paid great attention to every detail.  But Marcene’s insistence on perfection only applied to herself.  She was forgiving of others and understood that they were different than she was.

Perhaps the most obvious example of who Marcene was, is found in her son Mike.  As the saying goes, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  And Mike didn’t become the caring, considerate, intelligent, driven, and loving person that he is by accident.  He is a living example of Marcene’s influence on his life and a reflection of who she was.

Much of her life was devoted to caring for others and while was greatly loved by others, she loved them all right back.  But, as I noted earlier, Marcene’s faith was important to her.  She made sure that Mike grew up in the church and passed her faith on to him.  And when her grandchildren arrived, she invested herself in them so that they could learn it as well.  As I talked to Mike and Amy, we knew that Marcene would not want this moment to pass without sharing her faith with you as well.  Marcene Buchs put her full faith and trust in Jesus Christ as her savior.  She believed that Jesus died for her sins so that she could, at this very moment, stand before God, forgiven, redeemed, and perfect.  We know where Marcene will spend her eternity, and she wants every one of you to join her there when your day comes.  If you don’t know how to do that, Marcene’s family and I urge you to talk to one of us afterward.

But of all of us, Mike knew her best of all.  And so, although he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stand up here today and share his thoughts, these are his words:

A Son’s Reflections

by Michael Robert Johanson

We are gathered here together to honor and celebrate the life of my mother, Marcene Buchs. My mother was a throwback and maintained the sensibilities of another time always attempting to do the right thing optimistically even when it was not popular or easy. She was not deceived by the complexities in this world and was firmly rooted in the simplicities that are the foundation of our being.  That is her message to us.  She would have loved the flowers in the room today and would remind us all to enjoy the sight and scent.  She would not want any of us to mourn today rather to channel the spirit she has put in all of us to live up to our potential, do the right things, listen, encourage, pick each other up when we fall have hope, faith and leave a positive mark on this world.

I have spent much time this week thinking of what should be said, attempting to properly honor my mom’s memory or even partially convey the wonderful life my family and I were lucky enough to share with her.  Should I list all of her accomplishments which were many?  She was capable far beyond what we all saw – she had a mighty inner strength.  Should I tell stories from the farm in Beachwood?  Those would be funny particularly the “hammer story” (though probably still not funny to her brother my uncle Bob).  Her happiness, optimism and vision of the future during her youth – she always did her very best?  The energy and pride she always exemplified in the workforce?        But all of this can be read in the newspaper this week.  What isn’t there is her devotion and love for her family.  Her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brother and his family, taking care of her mother, father, and her son who were always steadfastly by her side and her by them.  I came along not under ideal circumstances, but you would have never known it. Her devotion and love made my life ideal.

If she were planning today’s service she would be playing videos in the hall of rockets launching things I’ve built into space.  A spread of magazines that Amy had created that highlighted her handiwork that she was so overjoyed to see on a newsstand.  She would play highlight reels of her grandson Noah throwing a football.  She often went on long drives to listen to songs on the CD player of her grandson Chase that always lift her up and “made the sunshine come out”. Those songs were played today prior to this service per her request and they meant the world to her.  She was very proud of all of Chase’s accomplishments. She would showcase her “superhero” grandson Ellis’s many activities, performances, beautiful voice and intellect and also remark how she was able to get a little piece of her own son back through him.  She would spent endless hours studying and learning about all our interests and made them her own.  And while none of this would be about her.  In her mind it was all about her, and it is.

I found a folder this week in her important papers titled Emotional Serenade.  In this folder of poems and writings I got a chance to get inside my mom’s spirit in ways I had not seen before.  In her writings I think she described who she was far better than I ever could in the following poem:

THE CATALPA TREES ARE BLOOMING ON HAINES AVENUE

The Catalpas are blooming on Haines Avenue;

their snow-like blossoms are fresh and white and new.

They crown the branches of the stately trees

and cover the ground with a summer freeze.

In time, long green beans will appear,

hanging amidst the elephantine leaves part of the year.

This makes Haines different from Wright, Union or Summit,

indeed it is the very best part of it!

The red bricked street of a yesterday,

scene of a childhood summer of play.

I was fresh from the farm and an isolated life

thrust on a sidewalk of kids amidst workman and buses,

backyard cherry trees – neat houses and gardens,

flower bedecked porches, new shoes bought on an

afternoon trip downtown, birthday parties on the lawn,

bank tellers, clothiers, teachers, mailmen, executives

and retirees – a grocery store that smelled so right

with licorice cigars and other delights…

everything so lazy and forever.  Now all gone mainly

BUT THE TREES

I had always known the infinite variety of trees;

all the magical appendages moving in the breeze;

their sudden brilliant hues burning even after the fade;

their wealth worth more than could ever be paid.

Yet I was amazed at the leaves on a hunt for my son

and ran around saying, in effect, “Here’s one, here’s one!”

Then it was the Ginkgo that mesmerized me,

but the Catalpas are a gift by the powers that be

and are for the moment what’s happening on Haines.

They come to me, and the thrill never wanes.

  • BUCHS

My mother was always my unexpected messenger encouraging me (and all of us) to accomplish the impossible and she led by example in ways that I didn’t always understand or comprehend.  But eventually, I would always understand completely.  While her life didn’t always meet the expectations she perhaps had for herself, she made the best of every moment and worked tirelessly to make sure those around her had the best opportunities, were the best prepared, and when we needed a boost, she was there to lift us up.  Though 620 Wright Ave was just a small dot on big planet she always encouraged me to be OPEN and ready to take on the world.  She taught me that if I opened up my mind I could be and do anything.  If I opened up my dreams the impossible became possible. If I opened up my heart I would always be surrounded by the very best people.  If I opened up my eyes the path forward would always be clear.  And if I opened my arms she would and will always be there.

In her notes this week she left me a final piece of advice in her Emotional Serenade folder.  I’m not sure she wrote it but she typed it and put in a place so I would see it first.  I think is a continuing message for all of us:

“People tend to look in each other’s wallets instead of each other’s eyes.  You can’t buy a look into someone’s heart.  Or a loving look.  Or a smile.  The retention of important memories is a gift beyond price.  Memory is where the proof of life is stored.  Unobstructed access to memories is both a sign of good health and a measure of true wealth.  Money can’t buy health and money can’t buy hope.”

I am thankful for the time that we have had on this Earth together, and her passing reminds me to value the time we all have with our loved ones. To allow our ‘time’ on this planet to walk with us rather than be our adversary and to cherish every moment, because they will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we lived, and I know how much my mother loved this life and those of you who shared it with her. So those of us who knew her will understand when I say that her passing to me is truly only that state in which she exists within all of us whose lives she has touched, which is why today is not about an end. I know she lives on within me and my children and that too shall pass to my children’s children. No good-byes mom, just wonderful memories.  You will walk with me always. I will see you again.

-Michael Robert Johanson

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Leader or Servant? – Why Character Matters

“Leader or Servant?”

(Why Character Matters)

September 23, 2018*

By Pastor John Partridge

Proverbs 31:10-31                 Mark 9:30-37             James 3:13 – 4:3, 7-8a

Have you ever seen someone use authority well?

Sometime around 1995 I was working in research and development on a new type of control system for residential forced-air heating systems.  We had developed the technology in the laboratory and were ready to install several systems, in various parts of the country, run them in the homes of real people, and collect data on their operation.  One of the homes in which our system would be installed belonged to an executive in major furnace manufacturer which was one of our industry partners.  Everything was proceeding on schedule and under budget until we were within a week or two of the installation.  We had our plane tickets in hand.  The equipment was already on site.  But everything got jammed up when our company lawyers couldn’t agree with their company lawyers over who was liable for what.  As engineers, it was completely out of our hands.  All we could do was watch as faxes and emails went back and forth between us and our partner.

Until our Vice President, who oversaw the entire research department, stepped in.  One day, in the middle of this impasse, he stopped in to ask why nothing was happening.  So, we told him.  By the next day, the contracts were completed, signed, and the project was back on track.  When I asked my manager what happened, he said that our VP had simply called their VP, they both called their respective lawyers, told them that they wanted it done, and POOF!  It got done.

I’ve always remembered that story because it reminds me that a key responsibility of leaders is to work for, to serve, their subordinates.  Our VP rarely involved himself in the daily affairs of engineers, but he reminded us that when we really needed his authority, he worked for us.  By virtue of his position, title, and power, he could get things done that we couldn’t hope to do.  We had no ability to argue with our legal team or to overcome their objections and concerns, but all he needed to do was to tell them to get it done… and it was done.

In each of our scriptures today we see different types of godly leadership that we can apply to our lives in church, at home, and in our schools and workplaces.  We begin at home, in Proverbs 31:10-31, which is the one chapter of the Bible that is known to be written by a woman.  Proverbs 31:1 says that these words are:

31:1 The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

And so, even though King Lemuel put the words on paper, he made sure that everyone knew that these were his mother’s words.  We continue reading in verse ten where it says:

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff  and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

This passage is sometimes criticized as a description of the expectations placed upon women, but I don’t see it that way.  Instead, I find that this describes a woman of strong character who is, as much as possible in the culture in which she lives, a full and dedicated partner, with her spouse, in the life of their family and in building a life together.  She is, without question, a leader in her community who dedicates her time and effort to lifting up her family, her household, the poor, and her entire community.  She and her husband act as a team.  Their efforts, together, build the respect in the community for both of them and although he must have some sort of employment, she seems to earn just as much for her family and provides for them in ways that he cannot.  Neither of the members of this partnership would do as well without the other.  She is able to do what she does because of him, and he is able to do what he does because of her and each would be severely handicapped without the other.  Because of her hard work, her leadership, and her compassion for others, she is honored and praised by her family, and by the leaders of her community.

But what is it about this woman that makes her good and honorable?

Is it just because she works hard?  And what can we learn from this and apply to our own lives?

In James 3:13 – 4:3, 7-8a, we hear this explanation:

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

James simply says that character matters.  If you are wise and understanding… prove it.  If you are smart, then your life will show the world that you are smart.  The way that you live, the deeds that you do, the friends that you keep, the actions that you take, the humility that you show in your interactions with others, is the proof that the world will witness.  At the same time, bitter envy and selfish ambition is proof that you are earthly, unspiritual, and even demonic because envy and selfish ambition are not the proof of wisdom, but the hallmarks of disorder and evil.

In contrast, the wisdom that comes from God is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful, impartial, sincere, and full of good fruit.  It is the peacemakers, James says, who produce great harvests of righteousness in the lives of others.  Fights and quarrels are the result of conflicting human desires.  Our desires, greed, and covetousness drive us toward evil, violence, and death.  We claim that God doesn’t hear our prayers, but the James says that the real reason our prayers go unanswered is that we ask with the wrong motives.  We ask God to give us stuff so that we can spend what he gives us for our own pleasure and not for the things of God and for God’s kingdom.

James’ recipe for success, is to submit to God.  Men and women must both submit to God.  We must resist the devil, resist evil, come to God, and only then will God come close to us.  We must purify ourselves, our motive must be pure, so that we are not double-minded.  We cannot want what God wants and want what we want.  We cannot pray that God would bless his ministry and grow his church and use his blessings for our own pleasures.

I admit that this is difficult stuff.  James is ruthless and his teaching pierces the hearts of the best among us.  But his message is clear.  A pure heart is a heart that is dedicated to God… alone.

And so, what does any of that have to do with leadership?  How does a heart dedicated to God look to the outside world, or to our church, or to our family?

And for that, we turn to Mark 9:30-37 where we hear the answer from Jesus.

30 They left that place and passed through Galilee. Jesus did not want anyone to know where they were, 31 because he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.” 32 But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it.

33 They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” 34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.

35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

36 He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Jesus says that the hallmark of true, humble, peace-loving, pure, godly leadership is servanthood.  Leaders are called to be servants first and tyrants last.  These are the things that reveal our character.  David fell when he considered his desires ahead of Uriah’s, but also ahead of the needs of Bathsheba, the needs of his nation, or the will of God.  The illustration and visual aid that Jesus uses is the welcoming of little children.  With few words, this speaks volumes about leadership.  Jesus says that leaders do good, even for those who can do nothing for you in return.  This is as far from “if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” as you can possibly get.  This says, “I’ll scratch your back, even if you don’t have any arms.”  This says that leaders help others, not because they expect something in return, but simply because they can.  The Vice President of Research had little (something but not much) to gain by helping us break the logjam on our project, but with one phone call, he did what several engineers and two or three managers couldn’t get done in weeks.  He wasn’t a particularly godly man, as far as I know, but I have always remembered this example of leadership.

This is why character matters.  Real leaders are not just leaders.  Real leaders, godly leaders, must be servants at heart.

As leaders, our personal desires must take a back seat to the needs of those whom we lead and serve.

Our priority must always be the mission, but also the care of those under our authority, whether or not they like us, whether or not we like them, and whether or not they can do something for us in return.

And don’t think that you are off the hook because you aren’t a leader.  All of us, in one way or another, are leaders or, at the very least, are training for leadership.  All of us, at one time or another, find ourselves responsible for others.  We teach Sunday school, we parent children, we babysit, and so on.  Many of us are what the military refers to as unofficial leaders, or back-channel leaders.  We are people who others look up to, and respect, simply because we are older, or have done our jobs longer, or because we are known to be honest, or diligent, in our work.  Leadership doesn’t have to come with an official title.

All of us are leaders.

All of us must lead with a servant’s heart.

Because…

…character matters.

_________

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_______________

*You have been reading a message presented at Christ United Methodist Church on the date noted at the top of the first page.  Rev. John Partridge is the pastor at Christ UMC in Alliance, Ohio.  Duplication of this message is a part of our Media ministry, if you have received a blessing in this way, we would love to hear from you.  Letters and donations in support of the Media ministry or any of our other projects may be sent to Christ United Methodist Church, 470 East Broadway Street, Alliance, Ohio 44601. These messages are available to any interested persons regardless of membership.  You may subscribe to these messages, in print or electronic formats, by writing to the address noted, or by contacting us at secretary@CUMCAlliance.org.  If you have questions, you can ask them in our discussion forum on Facebook (search for Pastor John Online).  These messages can also be found online at https://pastorpartridge.wordpress.com/. All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

More Than Family

“More Than Family”

August 12, 2018*

By Pastor John Partridge

 

2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33         John 6:35, 41-51       Ephesians 4:25 – 5:2

Is your family close?

Do you love each other?

Is there anything that you wouldn’t do for your family?

For some families, there is no closer bond.  They will go anywhere and do anything to help one another.  There is no mistake, however grievous, that cannot be forgiven.  Of course, not every family is like that, but even among those that are, sometimes that family bond can be put to the test.  As we rejoin the story of King David this morning, God’s punishment for David’s sin with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah has come upon him.  First, the child that he had with Bathsheba died.  But then, one of David’s other children, Absalom, determines to push David aside and become king for himself.  Over a span of years, he persuades many of David’s own advisors and military leaders over to his side and stages a coup.  David, and those loyal to him flee the city and Absalom sets up a tent on the roof of the palace, at the high point of the city, where everyone can see.  And in that tent, Absalom sleeps with all of David’s wives that couldn’t flee with him.  But as David fights to regain what was his, the bonds of family are stretched to the limit.  (2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33)

The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.

David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and the casualties that day were great—twenty thousand men. The battle spread out over the whole countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men that day than the sword.

Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.

15 And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.

31 Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.”

32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.”

33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”

David’s son staged a coup, drove him out of his capitol city, moved into his home, slept with his wives, went to war with him, and attempted to kill him, and still, David’s love for his son is so great that he commands his troops to “be gentle” with Absalom and David weeps in great distress when he learns of Absalom’s death.  Though obviously, Absalom didn’t feel the same way, those are the bonds of family.  Despite the betrayal and the carnage, David still loved his son enough to care deeply about him and mourn his loss.

When things work the way that they should, the love, and the bonds of family are some of the strongest that we ever have for other human beings.  But in a story recorded for us in the Gospel of John (John 6:35, 41-51), Jesus begins to describe a bond that is even greater.

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

Once again, the religious critics of Jesus disparage him because they knew him and knew his family.  To them it seemed obvious that Jesus couldn’t be anyone important and certainly couldn’t have “come down from heaven.”  But Jesus refutes their arguments by simply saying that no one can follow him unless God leads them to follow him and all those who follow Jesus will be raised up on the last day.  But more than that, Jesus says that he is the living bread and anyone who eats that bread will live forever and he promises that those that follow him will never go hungry or thirsty.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we already know that we are adopted, by God, into his family and are made brothers and sisters, legally co-heirs, with Jesus.  Legally, we become family.  But beyond that, Jesus says, God gives his family members eternal life and will care for their needs forever.  It’s worth noting that while this is not a huge change from Jewish theology, it was dramatically different than many of the other religions of Jesus’s day.  The gods of most other religions demanded obedience from their human worshippers, if they cared anything for them at all. The gods only cared about themselves and they had little or no concern for the welfare, past, present, or future, of their worshippers.  But the God of Israel cared.  And the change Jesus emphasizes is a major change from Jewish theology.  Jesus says that you don’t need to be a genetic descendant of Abraham.  If you follow Jesus, God will adopt you into his family, invite you to live with him, and will care for your needs forever.  That is a relationship that goes beyond the ordinary boundaries of family.

And in Ephesians 4:25 – 5:2, the Apostle Paul preaches that our relationship with God goes even farther.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

The first thing that we see in this passage is how Paul describes our relationship with one another where he says that we are all “members of one body.”  Think about that.  What does it mean to belong to “one body?”  What Paul is describing, is a relationship that is closer than family.  It’s one thing to love your brother or your sister, but it’s an entirely different thing to say that your hand or your foot is important to you.  You might consider walking away from a relationship with one of your family members, but few, if any, would willingly cut off a hand.

Paul goes on to warn the church not to allow our anger to cause us to sin.  This takes us right back to the story of David and Absalom.  While David continued to love his son, no matter what insults and atrocities he committed, Absalom allowed some insult in the past, some hurt, to fester into anger, and he allowed that anger to cause him to rebel against his king, and sin against his father David.  But anger is just the beginning.  Paul has more to say about how we are to manage our relationships with one another.  Don’t steal, work, and work enough so that you have something extra to share with those in need.  Purify the words that come out of your mouth and don’t behave in ways that grieve the Holy Spirit.

Wait.  What?  How do I “grieve the Holy Spirit?”

Think of it this way, at the moment that you put your faith in Jesus Christ and follow him, the Holy Spirit takes up residence inside of you, right?  So, every minute of every day, everywhere that you go, the Spirit is there with you.  Just imagine God’s reaction to some of the places that you go.  Do you think that God is thrilled when he walks beside you into a strip bar, or to some of the R-rated movies that you’ve seen, or parties that you’ve attended?  Do you think that God’s spirit rejoiced when some of those words that you shouldn’t have said came out of your mouth anyway?  Of course not.  But you did them anyway.  And you took a holy and perfect God along with you.  And the Spirit of God grieved over the places that you went, the things that you did, and the words that you said.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, violence, slander, and every form of malice.  Be kind, and compassionate, forgive one another, and walk in the way of love.

These are not easy things.  They’re not.  They’re hard.  But in today’s story, we are Absalom.  We’re the ones who got mad, went our own way, behaved badly, betrayed our father, and hurt him more than we could ever imagine.  But despite all that we have done, God loves us anyway.  Our God is the god who genuinely cares about his people.  God loves us like family.  In fact, God loves us more than family.  God made each and every one of us and he wants us to be more than we are.  God wants us to be like Jesus.  God created us to be perfect and holy, and he wants us to be perfect and holy.  God wants us to care about each other more than family.  God wants us to care about each other as if our brothers and sisters were our own hands and feet, or kidneys or liver.  God wants us to be one body, that is pure, and holy, and works together for the kingdom of God.

So yes, doing all the things that we talked about today, doing all the things that Jesus, and Paul, and the other writers of scripture have taught us is hard.

But doing those things is how we get from where we are, to where God wants us to be.

We were created to be more than family.

Let’s act like it.

 

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*You have been reading a message presented at Christ United Methodist Church on the date noted at the top of the first page.  Rev. John Partridge is the pastor at Christ UMC in Alliance, Ohio.  Duplication of this message is a part of our Media ministry, if you have received a blessing in this way, we would love to hear from you.  Letters and donations in support of the Media ministry or any of our other projects may be sent to Christ United Methodist Church, 470 East Broadway Street, Alliance, Ohio 44601. These messages are available to any interested persons regardless of membership.  You may subscribe to these messages, in print or electronic formats, by writing to the address noted, or by contacting us at secretary@CUMCAlliance.org.  If you have questions, you can ask them in our discussion forum on Facebook (search for Pastor John Online).  These messages can also be found online at https://pastorpartridge.wordpress.com/. All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.